


Odd Jobs

by Jeniouis



Series: Alternate Universes [1]
Category: Avengers (2012), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-14 00:02:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2170308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeniouis/pseuds/Jeniouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of snippets between Steve and Tony all revolving around the topic of odd jobs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Odd Jobs

**Author's Note:**

> None of the snippets are connected to each other. Each is it's own little story.

**Hot Dog Vendor  
** Tony sighed as he walked out of Stark Industries. He had a twenty minute break before he had another meeting. He was really supposed to be in a meeting now but Tony was starving so he excused himself from the meeting early to hunt down some food.

Tony looked down at the corner of the street. There was a hot dog stand. Tony usually wouldn’t have stopped for something cheap like that but the growl in his stomach helped him get over himself and hustle over the stand.

“Have a nice day ma’am.” Tony heard the vendor tell a customer he had just helped when he reached the hot dog stand. The woman mumbled thank you though she stood there looking at him hungrily before she walked off. Tony didn’t blame her; the guy was gorgeous. Tall, muscular, with golden blonde hair and sparkling ocean blue eyes. “What can I get you?” The guy said suddenly and it brought Tony back to earth. Tony looked at his name tag, it read STEVE.

“Steve?” Tony said. The guy smiled and nodded. “I just want five hot dogs drowning in cheese.” Tony said and the guy chuckled, immediately starting on Tony’s order. Tony decided to take the moment and undress Steve with his eyes. When the hot dogs were made, Steve caught his lingering stare and blushed. It was adorable.

“Can I get you anything else?” Steve asked with a nervous smile as put the hot dogs in a bag and handed it over. Tony shook his head.

“I would say your number but I don’t think that’s on the menu.” Tony said because it would have been a shame if he hadn’t flirted. The guy’s blush deepened and he looked at Tony nervously before he smiled. Steve took a pen out his pocket and jotted down a number on napkin. He handed it to Tony who was grinning like a loon.

“And…I get off in a couple of hours if you would want to, you know, hang.” Steve said nervously. Tony was pretty sure he had a meeting in a few hours.

Tony smiled, “I’ll be here. By the way, my name’s Tony.” He said and Steve nodded.

“I know. Everyone knows.” Steve said and Tony chuckled. They said their goodbyes and Tony went back into the building on cloud nine. Had he knew Steve even existed he would have come to that hot dog stand long ago.

 **Embalmer  
** “So how does that work exactly?” Tony asked. He and Steve were at dinner in a fancy restaurant. They had been dating for a couple of months and his boyfriend had long told him about his job but Tony never got the chance to ask about it. Steve chocked on the wine he was sipping and gave Tony a disgusted look.

“Really, over dinner. You want me to explain it over dinner.” Steve said and Tony nodded. “Why do you even want to know?”

“Well, I’ve heard of embalmers but I’ve never met one. I just always assumed it was pretty gross stuff.” Tony said and Steve nodded fervently.

“Yes it is so I’ll explain it later when I’m not eating.” Steve said and Tony laughed.

 **Personal Shopper  
** “I can’t believe you actually got me into this.” Tony complained as he trailed behind Steve in the mall, hands full of bags that were full of clothes. “You don’t even like shopping.”

Steve snorted, “I do when I’m being paid for it.”

“How did you even get this job? And why do you work for a woman.” Tony complained because he really didn’t want to be shopping. He wanted to be down in his lab designing weapons for the military. Tony knew that Steve didn’t even like shopping. That’s why he asked Tony to come along, so he could carry the bags and Steve could walk ahead of him and preserve his pride. The only reason Tony did it was because there had been the promise of fantastic sex afterward.

Steve laughed, “Because men don’t care.” Tony couldn’t argue that. “Peggy got me this job. Do you know I get paid seventy dollars an hour?” Steve said as he turned around facing Tony, walking backwards. But he still kept a safe distance between the two of them.

Tony’s eyes went wide and he immediately started adding it up, “Someone pays you over eighteen hundred dollars a week to do their shopping.”

Steve nodded jovially, “Yep and it’s just not for her clothes. Her grocery, school supplies when the kids are in school, even big stuff like for cars and a refrigerator once and the best part: there’s no limit on how much I spend and I can by myself stuff when I’m on call.” Steve said as he stopped by Victoria Secret. Had Tony not been bogged down with bags he would have ran. He decided to try anyway but Steve grabbed his arm and dragged him into the store.

 **Food Taster  
** “This is my newest masterpiece.” Tony said excitedly as he pulled his prize baked chicken out the oven. He was in his lab kitchen set up by the company he worked for. Tony was a chef and his food taster was giving him a dubious look from his sitting spot at Island. Tony frowned, “Does it smell? In a bad way that is.” Tony asked and Steve quickly shook his head. Tony calmed immediately because Steve was always honest with him.

“No it smells wonderful. It’s just this is your first trial and I always end up suffering somehow during your first five trials.” Steve said with an apprehensive look in his eyes as Tony placed the pan the chicken was in on the counter then cut a piece and put it on a plate.

“Nonsense, you’ll be fine.” Tony said as he handed the plate to Steve along with a glass of water. He took a moment to admire Steve’s beautiful body once again. He was so muscular and it was amazing because Steve literally ate a bunch of food for most of the day for six days a week. Tony always figured he must do a hell of a work out when he was off.

“What me to comment on anything specific?” Steve asked, still looking at the plate dubiously.

“Yes, it’s supposed to have a slight spicy kick so I need you to tell me how spicy it is.” Tony said. Steve nodded, cautiously picking up a small piece of the chicken with a fork and putting it in his mouth. Tony watched him anxiously.

“It’s good. It’s sweet and tangy.” Steve said and Tony cheered a little. Though his heart dropped slightly when Steve suddenly spit the piece out, fanning his mouth.

“Spicy! That’s fucking hot and it happened…” Steve trailed off and took a huge gulp of water. “All of a sudden.” Tony frowned and Steve glared at him. “I told you I would suffer.” Steve said through coughs and huge gulps of water.

“I’m sorry.” Tony said. Steve glared at him and gave him the finger. Tony sighed and started pacing. Back to the old drawing board.

 **Live Mannequin  
**_“This mannequin is beautiful.”_ Tony said as he stood beside a display doll. He and Thor were shopping. Thor found it necessary to shop three times a week. Tony hated shopping so he decided to just chill out by the sexy looking mannequin that was sculpted so realistically he kept thinking it was real. It was tall and muscular, blonde with blue eyes. Tony walked around it. He pulled on its clothing. He got up in its face, trying to examine it.

“Boo.” A voice said and it scared the hell out of Tony. He jumped back and he could have sworn the mannequin was silently laughing at him. Tony could tell by his shoulders were shaking. “Sorry but you were sort of cramping my style.” Tony narrowed his eyes and looked at him. His lips had barely moved when he spoke. This was amazing.

“Oh my god, you’re a human being.” Tony said in excitement just as a little old lady walked by. She looked up at what she believed was a doll then looked at Tony. She shook her head and continued walking.

“Yep, all real.” The real mannequin said. And since Tony was a complete and total asshole, he walked up to him and poked his side. They guy didn’t move but Tony’s pretty sure he saw his eyes give Tony a side glare. So Tony moved to his other side and poked him again. It must have been a good spot because the guy just barely startled.

“Ticklish?” Tony asked.

“Jerk.” The guy said but it sounded fond and he had a faint smile threatening to form on his face.

“This has got to be the Worst. Job. Ever.” Tony said as he poked his side again. He couldn’t imagine having to stand perfectly still for who knows how many hours. Not to mention how bored and lonely this gig could get.

“Yeah but it pays well.” The guy said. Tony decided to stop torturing him and moved to face him again.

“What’s your name?” Tony asked.

“Steve.” The guy said, glancing down at Tony a little. “And yours?”

“Tony. I bet kids make your life hell.” Tony said and Steve laughed silently again.

“Very much so.” Steve said and Tony nodded.

“And people like me.” Tony said, very much aware how much he must be irritating Steve.

“Actually you’re that much of a bother.” Steve said and Tony smiled though he couldn’t tell if Steve was lying or not but all of a sudden a buzzer rang and Steve sighed in relief moving out of his frozen pose. He stepped off the display stand and shook his limbs out.

“Wow that was the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Tony said in amazement.

Steve laughed, verbally this time, “I told you I was real.” Steve said. A guy walked up to them and looked at the display stand with a sigh. “Have fun Clint.” Steve said, giving the guy a pat on the back. The guy nodded, sighing again as he stepped on the display stand, freezing into a pose. Tony was once again amazed. He walked up to the guy and poked his side.

“I will kill you.” Clint mumbled through practically closed lips but it sound amused. Tony chuckled and raised his hand in surrender.

“So are you off.” Tony asked Steve though he was still staring at Clint.

Steve nodded. “For an hour anyway, it’s my lunch.”

Tony nodded. “So my friend is going to take a while.” Tony said as he looked over to where Thor had practically made a home in the Men’s Department. “And I know we just met but do you want to catch some lunch together.” Tony asked with the lack of nervousness because he didn’t get nervous. Steve blushed.

“Yeah that actually sounds nice.” Steve said with a sweet smile. They turned and started walking.

“Have fun.” Clint said after them. The two smiled and waved at him as they walked out the store.

 **Merman  
** Tony hated the fins. They made it harder to swim but not having the lower body fin would break the illusion for those little miscreants otherwise known as children. Little bastards. Tony sighed. At least some job was better than no job, wasn’t it?

Tony didn’t even want to be a merman at the amusement park he worked for. It sucked. The water was cold. He had to hold his breath for a ridiculous amount of time because the script he and his fellow actors followed had specific breaks where the actors could swim over to one of the many breathing tubes they had under in the aquarium and take a huge lifesaving suck from them.

But his boyfriend hooked him up with this gig. He said it would be sweet if they could be merman together and since there wasn’t any ignoring Steve when he batted his lashes, Tony found himself sitting on a rock, waiting to lip sync his next line.

Steve swam over to him and started mouthing something. A voice sounded from the speakers. It was Steve’s voice; the actors recorded their lines before they were played. Tony rose to the tips of his fins which were really the tip of his toes and it was almost impossible to stay balanced but he managed it. Tony mouthed his lines and followed Steve when he swam off to the other side of the aquarium.

Thankfully they had a breathing break.

 **Ocularist  
** “So this is what you do all day.” Tony said as he walked into Steve’s work area. His boyfriend was putting the finishing touched of the last prosthetic eye he had made for the day.

“Yep.” Steve said, popping the ‘P’. “You know when I’m walking around; I wonder how many people are wearing one of the eyeballs I made.” Steve and Tony made a face.

“Gross.” Tony said and Steve laughed.

 **Dance Host  
** Steve was standing around nervously at the gala Bucky had forced him to attend. He had been shuffling on his feet for about an hour or more. He hated these things. He didn’t know anybody and Steve was too shy to try to get to know somebody. Bucky didn’t even like these galas and things but it was a part of his job. He was a dance host. A person who was hired to dance with all the sad and lonely souls who couldn’t find a dance partner.

So when a guy walked up to Steve and asked him if he wanted to dance, Steve automatically knew why.

“You’re a dance host too.” Steve asked they guy. He was handsome with moussed black hair and a cute goatee. The guy’s jaw dropped in shock but he quickly recovered.

“What? I can’t ask a handsome guy if he wants to dance.” The man said with a confident smirk. Cocky. But cute.

“My friend works for your company and he drags me to these things.” Steve said; he had no why he even brought this up. This guy was obviously working and had better things to do than just chat.

“Oh Bucky?” The guy said, his face lifting with recognition. “You’re his friend. He said that you were here.” Steve nodded.

“Yep it’s me. Steve.” Steve said nervously. He was just saying something really.

“Tony.” The guy said and Steve looked at him confusion. The guy gestured toward himself. “I’m Tony.” Steve smiled.

“Tony.” Steve repeated and the guy smiled too.

“So do you want to dance?” Tony asked, holding out his hand. “I mean for real. I would like to dance with you.” Didn’t that just make Steve feel all giddy?

“Aren’t you on the clock?” Steve asked but he took Tony’s hand and let himself be led to the dance floor.

“Sure but I am dancing aren’t I.” Tony said as he turned to face Steve when they were smack dab in the middle of the dance floor.

“I don’t know how to dance.” Steve admitted because he felt awkward. Tony smiled and shrugged, wrapping one arm around Steve’s wait and taking his other.

“Just follow my lead.” Tony said with a sweet smile and Steve swears his brown eyes sparkled in the light.

 **Mascot  
** Tony walked back into the lockers hoping to God no one would be back there. He couldn’t wait to shed this ridiculous pig outfit. He felt so foolish. Why would the school want a pig as a mascot anyway? When he got to the door of the locker rooms he had to take of the entirely too big and too heavy pig’s face hat he was forced to wear and place it on the floor.

He walked in and of course there just had to be one player left behind. The guy was bent over tying his shoe but when he heard the door open, he raised and looked at Tony. Now Tony could see that it was only Steve, his boyfriend. His boyfriend who was laughing at him right now.

“You look so silly.” Steve said playfully as he finished tying his shoes.

“Why aren’t you out with the team?” Tony grumbled as he plopped down in a chair beside Steve. The sad thing was that Tony had just been recruited to the football team but he had to wait until next semester to play.

“I had to grab something plus I wanted to give you a kiss before we went out on the field.” Steve said as he leaned down and gave Tony a sweet, chase kiss. Tony smiled a little.

“I might forgive you for laughing at me now.” Tony said and Steve chuckled.

“You ready?” Steve asked and Tony groaned. The mascot had to go out in the field with the star quarterback. That was how Tony met Steve in the first place. Tony nodded and stood.

“Yeah, let’s get this over with.” Tony said as they walked out the locker room. He grabbed that stupid helmet and put it on. Well at least no one could see his face when he was dancing around the field.

 **Sleep Director  
** Tony didn’t keep normal hours. He worked in his lab late into the night and slept late into the day. That’s why his relationship with Steve worked so well. His boyfriend didn’t keep normal hours either. And it wasn’t until now that Tony figured out why.

“So you just sleep in a bunch of beds all day and write a review on how comfortable the bed was.” Tony asked in astonishment. He had a bunch of lazy friends who would love to take Steve’s job.

“Not just that. There’s this whole mock hotel room set up and I have to write about the decorum, the sound proofing, and things like that.” Steve said with a shrug. Tony was flabbergasted.

“That’s awesome. I wish I had a job where I could sleep all day.” Tony said and Steve’s eyes lit up.

“Well actually, they have a couples department at my job and they have an opening. Those workers test out an entire mock hotel room for a week. Some set-ups even have a Jacuzzi.” Steve suggested and Tony smiled.

“That sounds awesome. And that way we can keep our irregular hours and get even closer to each other.” Tony said and Steve nodded. “I’m in.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed it. :D
> 
> Please leave feedback and feel free to criticize; I am always looking for opportunities to grow.  
> I’ve launched an E-Zine where people submit their favorite fics and the best ones get published in the zine. I’m doing this because I want to create something that acknowledges fanfic writers and makes them feel confident about themselves while bringing people of different fandoms together. To submit your favorite fics, go [Here](https://goo.gl/forms/h0LI8s7WGgZV2gBl1)


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